The Little Shrew
by Randall Flagg2000
Summary: COMPLETED!While chasing after Ed, Faye gets bitten by one of the slime things from the Toys in the Attic episode. But instead of poisoning her, she becomes a little kid! If you thought she was bratty now, you ain' seen nothing yet!
1. It Begins

Okay so I lied about what my next story would be! So sue me! Anyway, I will try my best not to discontinue this chibi story. I will do my best to complete it as best as I can. If you have ideas for me, tell them to me. They will really be a big help. Now start reading the story if you would. -Randall Flagg2  
  
Silence surrounded the bebop. An awful, heavy silence that seemed to enfold everything and everyone in its path. Somewhere in the midst of it all, a beautiful woman by the name of Faye Valentine sat on her bed, puffing on the last cigarette she had. She sighed, wondering if anything was going to happen today. She would have given anything for something to happen, even something bad. Well, maybe an explosion would occur or a new bounty would turn up. Heck, she would even settle for a fire in the kitchen. Faye took one last drag on her cigarette and extinguished it in the small ashtray next to her. Faye laid down on her bed to take a nap when she heard a familiar voice coming down the hall.  
  
"Going down the hallway! Going down the hallway! Going down the big spooky hallway!" came Ed's high pitched giggle. Faye covered her head with her pillow. Of all the things in her life she needed right now, Ed was the last one. Ed strode into her room.  
  
"Hi Faye Faye! Is Faye Faye happy? Ed is happy!"  
  
"Go away." Faye replied bitterly. "I'm trying to take a nap."  
  
Ed frowned. "Aw, is Faye Faye sad? Ed can help!" Ed scampered out of the room and came back with a clipboard, a pen, and a pair of fake glasses. She sat down in a chair and started writing gibberish. "Now what would Faye Faye like to discuss first?"  
  
"Get out Ed." Faye grumbled, taking the pillow off of her head. "I don't need psychology."  
  
"Faye Faye is in denial! Faye Faye should learn to be more in contact with her emotions like Ed is. Now tell Ed about Faye Faye's childhood."  
  
"Get out!!" Faye's voice had risen to a full fledged snarl. "I'm in no mood for psychological bullshit, now get OUT!!!" Ed recoiled as if struck. She looked at Faye with look of curiosity for quite some time. Then her lips started quivering.  
  
"Faye Faye is mean to Ed! Faye Faye should apologize or Ed will call Jet person!" Great, that was the last thing she needed. Jet had been very stressed out lately, what with caring for Ein and keeping control of Spike and Ed and he had been hitting the roof over a lot of things lately. If Jet was called in now, she had a feeling he would do a lot more then just scold her for disrupting the peace on the bebop this time. But Faye had forgotten about Ed who had taken her hesitation as a sign that she was simply not willing to apologize to her. So Ed did what she did almost as good as hacking and being silly. She began to wail.  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! JET PERSON!!! WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!" Ed wailed as loudly as she could. Faye, not wanting to deal with an angry Jet, put a hand over Ed's mouth muffling her angry cries.  
  
"Alright!! I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry that I yelled at you." The tears came to halt. Ed lowered her head to the ground, sniffling so it looked like she were still crying. Faye finally felt guilty. She lowered her head to apologize when...  
  
"BOO!!" Ed's face shot up directly into Faye's with unnerving speed. Faye let out a small screech and stumbled backwards. She fell directly onto her bed, back first. This in turn bounced her off of the bed and onto the hard floor. Ed giggled insanely and ran out of the room. Growling deeply in the back of her throat, Faye got to her feet and charged out the door after the hacker.  
  
Ed was skipping merrily down the hall when she saw somebody's shadow coming around the corner. She knew exactly who it was. Well if Faye wanted to punish her, she would have to catch her first. Ed kicked into high gear and sprinted down the hallway just as a snarling Faye rounded the corner. "You little brat!!" Faye bellowed. "When I get my hands on you I'll make you regret the day you ever met me!"  
  
Ed sprinted down the hallway as fast as she could, stopping every so often to check and see how close Faye was. And as one could guess, she would always have enough time to turn around and see an enraged shrew woman charging after her, her hands outstretched. Oh well. Ed was used to being chased. She ran further down the hallway, being careful to jump over a snoozing welsh corgi as she ran. Faye however was to intent on catching Ed to notice him. Ein raised his head up and only had enough time to widen his eyes as Faye's feet slammed into his stomach and face.  
  
"Argh!" Faye went flying over Ein and onto the hard metal ground. She got up, dazed but unhurt and looked around. No sign of psycho hacker here. "Little brat must have gotten away when I tripped." she thought. Just as she began to run again, she heard a whimper. She looked down and saw Ein laying on his side. He was whimpering and his eyes were rolling. Faye suppressed a chuckle. "Sorry about that Ein." she remarked. Faye continued onward in search of Ed, leaving a moaning corgi behind her.  
  
Ed sprinted onwards, not bothering to check her back anymore. She had heard the crash and knew that if Faye had gotten any madder, this would become all out war. She raced on ahead, taking the stairs that led up to the attic. Ed spotted a doorway and made a mad dash for it. She ran inside and shut the door. Good. She was safe now. Ed chuckled madly at the memory of her prank on Faye. Pranks weren't normally her style, but still it was good to stretch every once in awhile. "Dumb Faye Faye!" she said to nobody in particular. As Ed stood against the door laughing, she heard a rustling sound. She saw something move out of the corner of her eye and her laughter ceased almost immediately. Something was in here with her and from how loud the scuffling sounds were, it was most definitely not a mouse. Ed looked nervously into the darkness and saw it move again. It was ill defined and amorphous in the dim light, but she could still just barely make it out. Then it came into the light and Ed felt a scream rising in the back of her throat. What was there was not a mouse, but a strange jelly like substance. Something that was black and red. Rippling and contracting.  
  
And it wanted her.  
  
Ed finally let out a loud scream of terror and bolted over it as it lunged at her. God knows what it would have done if it had gotten a hold of her. Ed screamed again and jumped behind a large crate. Apparently it was the right thing to do. The thing stopped moving and just sat there on the ground rippling and contracting like a living glob of jello. Ed breathed a sigh of relief. Then she heard somebody hammering on the door.  
  
"Ed?! Are you in there?! If you are you should know that I'm coming in there! You might as well just come out here right now and take your lumps!" Faye warned from outside.  
  
"Faye Faye no come in!" Ed called. "There's a scary monster in here!"  
  
From outside, Faye laughed bitterly. "Don't try to fool me girl! Maybe you tricked me back in my room, but you're not going to trick me now!" Faye began to open the door.  
  
"No Faye Faye!!" Ed shrieked. But it was too late. Faye threw open the door, letting light into the room. At the same time, the blow of whatever pounced on her. Faye screamed as it wrapped around her arm, followed by a sharp pain as it somehow bit into her. The blob then leapt off of her and retreated into the darkness of the attic, satisfied with its latest victim. Faye looked at the mark on her arm and gasped. It was already turning a shade of grayish blue.  
  
"Impossible! Spike got rid of them all!" Faye moaned. How could Spike have missed one of the little shits? She had gone through hell with one of them before and she knew from personal experience that when this strange blob bit you, bad things happened. Very bad things. Last time it had been poisoning, but this time she had a feeling that whatever was going to happen now was going to one hundred times worse then last time. Faye let out another moan and sank to the ground.  
  
"Ed." she whispered. "Go get Spike and Jet. Hurry!!" Ed nodded and ran out of the room. Faye fell to the floor in a heap. Already she felt sick and dizzy. The effects of the poison were taking effect. Something was happening to her... but what?  
  
"Spike person!! Jet person!! Come quickly!! Faye Faye is in trouble!" Ed screamed. Jet came barreling out of the kitchen followed by Spike.  
  
"What is it Ed? What's wrong?" Jet asked, bewildered at Ed's panic.  
  
"Faye Faye got bitten by a mean spooky alien!"  
  
"Right." Spike said sarcastically. "What did this spooky alien look like Ed?"  
  
"It was small and looked like a big blow of jello! Ed saw it herself!" Spike's trademark smirk faded. Something that looked like living jello? That didn't sound good. Maybe it was... No. It couldn't be. He had sent the fridge flying into outer space during what was known as "the Ganymede rock lobster incident". How could it still be on board? He didn't know and didn't want to know either.  
  
"Spike?" Jet asked nervously. "Is it what I think it is?"  
  
"Yeah, I think it is man. Show us where Faye is." Spike said. Ed turned around and began to lead them upstairs to where the attic was. When they got upstairs, Faye was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Faye? Are you in here?" Jet called. No answer. Not even a groan. "Faye? Are you alright?" Still no response from the shrew woman. Jet felt a wave of fear close around his heart. He didn't like the way things were going here. He could remember the bad experience he had had with the mutation from the Ganymede lobster and he had no intention of reliving it. Even more, even if it had gotten Faye, wouldn't she still be here? Unless perhaps it had somehow grown and consumed her. No, that couldn't be. Such a thing was not possible. As Jet surveyed the room, a sob was heard.  
  
"Who's there? Is that you Faye?" Spike asked. Another sob was heard. Spike looked around and saw nobody else besides Ed and Jet. Where the hell was Faye? Then a voice spoke.  
  
"Somebody help me. I'm scared of the dark." The voice was high and child like. Spike was now officially puzzled. How could another kid have gotten onboard? If it was a kid that was. It sounded young and high enough to be one. More sobbing followed the mystery voice. Spike walked around the side of a large set of crates and looked behind them to see where the voice was coming from. Then he suddenly jerked back as his eyes fell upon the sight before him, his face going pale.  
  
"What is it Spike? Is it Faye?" Spike opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He only pointed towards the crates like the ghost of Christmas yet to come. Jet walked towards his pale comrade and almost screamed at the sight before him.  
  
There, sitting behind the crates in the fetal position was a little girl with short lavender purple hair. She looked to be around six years old. She wore the same banana colored clothes that Faye wore. She looked at the newcomers and smiled gleefully at them.  
  
"Hi mister! My name is Faye! What's your name?" Jet's jaw dropped open. This couldn't be Faye. It just couldn't be. No way, nada, never. The lobster blob couldn't have done this to her. Surely there had to be some logical explanation for the sight before him. Maybe it was somebody else's child who had climbed onboard the ship while they were out looking for bounties. But when Jet's eyes fell upon the discolored spot on the girl's arm, his mind was forced to accept the truth. Faye had been bitten by the creature and had somehow been turned into a little kid.  
  
"I said what's your name mister?" the girl asked, a bit more firmly then last time. When Jet didn't respond, she walked up to him and kicked him in the shins.  
  
"Ow!! You brat! What did you do that for?!" Jet roared, rubbing his shin.  
  
"You wouldn't answer me!"  
  
"Nevertheless you shouldn't kick people." Jet scolded. Ed was just giggling over the sight of the little Faye. Spike on the other hand was in complete shock. Gods above, what had he done to deserve this? What did he do to deserve such a punishment?  
  
"This is going to be a long day." Spike moaned. Oh if only he knew...  
  
And there you have it people! That's the first chapter! The thing is I noticed that that aren't that many stories where the bebop crew are kids so I figured I'd try one. Don't get me wrong, the ones where they are in high school and middle school are hilarious (I have read them), but I still say it's time somebody did a chibi story with them. This was ultimately the result of that idea.  
  
Oh and if you have any ideas of what they should do with chibi Faye or how she should act, post them in your reviews. Please, give me at least on suggestion. Please? I am begging you on my hands and knees! -Randall Flagg2 


	2. Joyride in Spike's Ship

Part two is ready and rearin' to go! Let the bratty behavior begin! Thank you so much for the reviews and especially the ideas. Again, if you have any suggestions, give them to me. -Randall Flagg2  
  
Faye looked at her teammates as if she had only just met them for the first time. Her innocent eyes wandered back and forth between Spike and Jet, ignoring Ed completely. She giggled happily and jumped into Jet's arms. "Come on! Tell me your name or I'll kick you again!"  
  
"Why doesn't she remember us? Did that thing take her memory as well?" Jet thought. Then the little Faye jumped down and slammed her foot into Jet's beefy leg again. Jet screamed and clutched at his aching leg. All the while the girl giggled wildly at him. Jet gave her the iciest glare he could muster. It didn't seem to frighten her.  
  
"Alright fine! My name is Jet Black and the skinny guy over there is Spike Spiegal!" Jet growled.  
  
"So that's your name? I think mine is better!"  
  
"Yeah? Who made you the judge of names?" Spike asked. Faye only responded by giggling at him. Then she hopped into Spike's arms.  
  
"Are you my daddy?" she asked.  
  
Spike sweatdropped. "What?! No I'm not your daddy!" Faye's laughter stopped immediately. Her eyes began to well up with tears.  
  
"But if your not my daddy... then who are you?" she asked, her voice trembling. Spike opened his mouth to say something, but Jet stopped him.  
  
"No don't worry, he's your uncle, not your father! I'm your father! And that girl over there is your sister Edward!" he said pointing at Ed.  
  
Ed frowned. "Edward is not sister to Faye Faye! Ed is-" Spike gave her a glare that said "play along or else" and she quickly changed what she was saying. "I mean yes Ed is Faye Faye's older sister! Edward is glad to see Faye Faye!" she chirped. Faye's tears instantly came to a halt.  
  
"Oh goody! I'm glad that I'm not alone!" She reached up and embraced Spike in a tight hug. "Hi uncle Spike!"  
  
"Yeah, hi." Spike grunted. Spike's poker face hid away the fact that he was inwardly screaming like an opera soprano. Having Faye onboard was bad enough, but having her as a kid! It was the one thing in life that Spike was secretly terrified of. With Faye as a six year old, who knew what could go wrong? Heaven only knew. Faye let go of Spike and stepped back down to the floor.  
  
"So now what can we do?" she asked.  
  
"Ed knows! Edward is hungry! Time for dinner!" Spike could not agree with her more. Neither could Jet. It was getting close to dinner and all of them were ravenous.  
  
"What can we make though?" Faye asked.  
  
"I'll make the usual. It's all we have at the time." Jet asked. Everybody else nodded in agreement. And so they went off towards the kitchen for that very purpose.  
  
"Ed?" Jet whispered.  
  
"What Jet person?"  
  
"Later, we're going to try to capture that thing that bit Faye and analyze it. When we do, could you see if there's a cure for what she's gotten?"  
  
"Okay Jet person! Ed will check for data!" Ed said.  
  
Down the hallway, Ein was still recovering from the force of Faye running into him. His side ached and beneath his fur, a pair of large bruises were forming. Ein was used to this sort of treatment by now (as Ein knew, the bebop were not exactly what you would call animal lovers), but this time seemed to be a bit worse then the other times Faye had brought her foot down on him. Oh well. He'd just go on with his life and forget about it like he always did. As the dazed corgi rose to his feet, his sensitive nose caught scent of something he had never smelled before. No, wait a minute... it was a familiar smell after all. It was Faye's scent, no doubt about it, but something was different. It seemed... well, younger. Ein tensed, but he did not growl. Not yet anyway. Sure enough, the bebop rounded the corner and Ein's jaw dropped open. Only three of them were still normal. The fourth looked and smelled like Faye, but it was certainly not her body. It seemed to be the body of a younger girl, of about six. Before Ein could decided whether to growl or to allow this new person to pass, the girl squealed and patted him on the head.  
  
"Hi puppy! My name is Faye! What's your name?" she asked. Ein felt all his nervousness evaporate in an instant at her touch. He didn't know why, but he liked Faye better this way. It would be good to have a kid who wasn't wild like Ed. Ein shuddered at the memory of the time Ed had tossed him onto the oven while it was still burning. He still had the burn from the horrible experience.  
  
"His name is Ein. And from the looks of things I'd say he liked you." Jet said. And Ein did indeed seem to like her. The corgi was licking her face gently and allowing her to pet him. All the while, Faye was giggling and rubbing his back. Spike couldn't help but smile at this. It was kind of touching when you thought about it. Then his smile vanished as he remembered he was hungry.  
  
"Well, are we going to cook dinner or not?" he asked. Jet marched to the kitchen, closely accompanied by Ed. Spike followed suite.  
  
Ein gave an affectionate whine and continued to lick Faye's face. Faye giggled merrily and continued petting him. Ed watched this little scene, feeling a little jealous that Faye was playing with Ein. Ed was not normally one to feel such emotions, but in a way Ein was her dog. Mainly at the very least. After all, she was the one who played with him, petted him, and pretty much did stuff with him that none of the others did. And besides, Faye had never been particularly fond of him. Ed knew that in the way there was always something going on between them, and it normally wasn't anything good. So why was Faye so fond of him now? Ed could only speculate. She tried to pet Ein, but her hand was slapped away by Faye.  
  
"Wait your turn!" she hissed and went back to petting Ein.  
  
Ed growled slightly. "Edward wants to play with Ein now!" she said and reached down again. Her hand received yet another slap.  
  
"No! My puppy!" Faye yelled. Ed grabbed the side of Ein's leg and tugged on it. Faye pulled back.  
  
"Faye Faye, give Ein to Edward!" Ed growled.  
  
"No! He's my puppy!"  
  
"No! Mine!" Ed retorted. She pulled on Ein again, this time more forcefully, and Faye pulled as well. Soon, it escalated into a brutal game of tug of war.  
  
"Mine!"  
  
"Mine!"  
  
"Mine!!"  
  
"Mine!!!"  
  
"MINE!!!!"  
  
"MINE!!!!!"  
  
RIIIPPPP!!!!  
  
Ed and Faye went flying backwards in different directions. Both of them landed painfully on their backs. When they got up, they each heard loud howls and realized that they were holding something in their hands. They looked and saw they both had clumps of fur in their hands. Then they saw Ein and saw two bare spots on his legs. Already the bare flesh on his leg was turning pink.  
  
"Now look what you've done!!" they both screamed in unison. Ed lunged at Faye and tackled her to the ground. Faye raised her hand up and poked Ed in the eyes. Well almost. Ed saw it coming and pulled down her goggles to shield her eyes so Faye only hit plastic. With a furious roar, Ed snapped at Faye with her pointy teeth. They began rolling around the room, biting and clawing at each other like a pair of angry cats. The ruckus was heard in the kitchen. Jet and Spike rushed into the hallway and saw what was happening. Jet pulled Ed away and Spike pulled Faye away.  
  
"What the hell is going on?!" Jet roared angrily.  
  
"Faye Faye hurt Ein!!" Ed hissed, pointing at the corgi. Jet looked at Ein and had to suppress a snicker. He knew it was nothing to laugh at, but still it was funny in some sadistic way. Apparantly, Ein must have known he was trying not to laugh because his ears flattened against his head and a low growl escaped his throat.  
  
"Sorry about that Ein. I'll get some bandages for that later." It seemed to work. Ein stopped growling and just stared at Jet impassively.  
  
"What do you mean I hurt Ein?! You hurt him because you were pulling on him!" Faye retorted.  
  
"No, Faye Faye was pulling! Edward just wanted to play with Ein!"  
  
"No you were pulling!!"  
  
"You were!"  
  
"You!"  
  
"QUIET!!!" Jet bellowed at the top of his lungs. "If this keeps up, I'm not making dinner for anybody!" That shut everybody up in a hurry. If there was anything the bebop posse hated, it was not getting dinner.  
  
"Whatever happened, stop it. I'll do a lot more then just pull you guys apart if another fight breaks out." Spike warned.  
  
"Spike! How could you say that?!" Jet scolded. He didn't like kids that much either, but he wasn't for punishing them the way he figured Spike was. That stuff caused way more problems then it solved.  
  
"Now the two of you be good now, you hear me?" Jet said in a much calmer tone of voice. Ed and Faye both nodded. The two bounty hunters walked back into the kitchen to continue dinner, Ein tagging along behind them.  
  
Faye looked at Ed. "Would you like to have some fun?" she asked.  
  
"Hmph! Ed is mad at Faye Faye for hurting Ein!" Ed snorted.  
  
"Please Ed? You like having fun don't you?" Faye's words broke through the hacker's anger like a hot knife through butter.  
  
"Okay. What does Faye Faye want to do?"  
  
Faye grinned like so many demons. "Want to learn how to fly? Do we have any ships besides the one we're on?"  
  
Ed smiled. "Yes. We have Spike person's swordfish II and a few others. Does Faye Faye want to learn how to fly with Ed?" Faye nodded. "Then Ed will show Faye Faye how to fly! Follow Edward!" Ed began to walk down to the hangar of the bebop.  
  
Once inside the hangar, Ed stopped outside the swordfish II. Faye looked at it and giggled. "Do you know how to fly this?" she asked.  
  
"Yes, Edward knows! A little at least! Faye Faye can sit on Ed's lap!" she replied. Ed opened up the glass dome of the swordfish II and climbed in. Faye followed suite and hopped onto Ed's lap. Ed looked downwards and saw with happiness that Spike had made the mistake of leaving his keys in the cockpit. Perfect. That would make it all the more easier. Ed closed the glass dome and turned the keys. The ship began to activate. Faye giggled. This was going to be fun.  
  
"Let's see, Ed thinks that this button is ignition." Ed said to nobody in particular and pressed the button. The ship lifted off. Ed thrust forward on the steering device and the swordfish II flew out of the bebop.  
  
"Wee!! Edward and Faye Faye are flying!" Ed squealed. Faye screamed in excitement along with her. They lifted out of the bebop hangar and began to fly off into space. Everything was going perfectly! As long as Spike and Jet didn't find out, things would be fine.  
  
Then things started going wrong.  
  
The swordfish II suddenly began to do a barrel roll. Ed screamed and felt her head bonk against the ceiling, hard. Faye was also mussed a bit. Ed grabbed the steering levers and pulled up on them, and the ship suddenly did a flip turning them around. It began to spin around rapidly then, bucking and shaking.  
  
"Do something!" Faye whined as she was thrust to the side.  
  
"Edward is trying!!" Ed pressed a button on the side, hoping that it would be of some help to them. Instead, what it did was fire a spray of bullets at the bebop.  
  
Inside the interior of the large ship, Jet was busily cooking bell peppers and beef (no beef or course) when the ship suddenly shook violently. "What the hell?!" the former black dog of the ISSP yelled. The ship shook again, throwing Jet off of his feet. He landed with a loud thud on the ground. Soon enough, the alarm began to sound. Spike and Jet immediately rushed to the control room and looked on the radar.  
  
"So what is it Jet? Who's attacking us?" Spike demanded. Jet said nothing as he looked at the sight before him on the radar screen. Spike took a look himself and a thick growl rose out of his chest. There was his ship, the swordfish II, in outer space. It was firing a stream of bullets at the bebop and showed no sign of relenting. Spike did not need to think for a minute to know who was behind this. "When I get my hands on those two, they are not going to sit down for a year!" Spike snarled.  
  
"If you do that Spike, I'll throw you right off of the ship!" Jet said back.  
  
"Fine then, but don't you believe in punishment Jet?!"  
  
Jet sighed. "Relax Spike, I'll find some way of punishing them that doesn't involve hitting them. In the meantime, we should try to go after them." Before they could get to the other ships however, the swordfish II suddenly sped away from the bebop at high speed.  
  
Back on the swordfish II, Faye and Ed were both screaming loudly as the ship careened out of control. "Do something!" Faye wailed. "We're going out of control!"  
  
"Ed is trying but the ship is naughty!!" Ed pressed another button, but it only made the ship fly even faster. It was soon going so fast that tendrils of smoke began to come out of the engine. And in another short set of minutes, they could see a planet coming up in the distance. It seemed to be Calisto. Ed began to wail loudly. "Edward doesn't want to die! Edward is too young to die!" Faye started crying as well. The wailing girls had given up trying to fix the ship and were now just waiting for the inevitable to happen. As time passed, the ship gradually cruised towards the iced planet. At last, it touched down with a horrible crash.  
  
Meanwhile, the bebop crew had followed the smoke trail left by the swordfish II and they were officially worried. Judging from how much smoke there was, Ed and Faye had really messed things up. Jet was inwardly praying that they were alright. If anything had happened to them, he would never forgive himself. "God, if you're up there and hearing me right now, let them be alright." Jet mentally prayed. The bebop finally descended towards Calisto. Jet and Spike ran outside as fast as they could towards a crowd of people. They seemed to be gathered around a smoking, burning twisted piece of metal. It didn't even take a second for Spike and Jet to know what it was. They hurried forward towards the crowd and made their way to the center. There, in the center, was the swordfish II. Or in this case, what was left of it. It no longer looked like a ship at all. It looked like something out of a junkyard.  
  
"Oh god! Jet, do you think their..." Spike's words trailed off. For what may have been perhaps the first time in his life, Spike felt tears prickle at his eyes. God damn, this wasn't really happening was it? They hadn't really been killed had they? It seemed to be that way. Spike looked at Jet. The man looked as if he were going to cry.  
  
"Yeah Spike. I don't think they made it." Jet choked. The former cop lowered his head and let out a gasping sob. Spike covered his face with one hand. So this was it. Faye and Ed, killed in a joy ride. Spike couldn't believe this had happened. Damn it, if only he had watched them instead of going to help with dinner. But it was too late for that. Spike lowered his head and began to cry softly with his friend. Then a small voice interrupted.  
  
"Why is Spike person and Jet person going boo hoo?" Spike whirled around to find himself looking at Ed and Faye. Their clothes were burnt, but only that. Other then that, they were alright. Not so much as a scratch on them. Both of the girls were grinning.  
  
"Jet?" Spike asked. "I think things are alright."  
  
"How are things alright Spike?!" Jet sobbed. "They're dead and-" Then he saw Ed and Faye. His expression became one of complete disbelief. Ed and Faye alive? Was it true? It had to be. There could be no other explanation. For the first time since he had known them both, Jet ran forward and embraced them in a tight hug.  
  
"Really smooth Jet. I guess you forgot that we're going to punish them when we get back?" Spike asked. The bulky man let go of the girls and began to glare at them.  
  
"C'mon you two. We're going back to the ship. We'll punish you when we get back." Faye and Ed cringed at that word. They were hoping that it wouldn't be what they thought it would be. So the bebop began the short walk back to the ship.  
  
Once then got back in outer space, Jet and Spike sat on the couch looking at the two girls, wondering what to do with them. "Now listen, the both of you. I want you to know that what you did was very irresponsible of you and that we cannot tolerate it." Spike said.  
  
Ed whimpered. "Spike person won't hit us will you?" she asked nervously, clutching her bottom protectively.  
  
"No Ed. We won't hit you, but we're definitely going to make you regret what you and Faye did. So we've decided to send you to your rooms with no dinner." The girls began to cry loudly at that.  
  
"But we're hungry!! I want food!" Faye bawled. Ed also responded with equally agonized howls.  
  
"Sorry you too, but that's the way it's going to go. Now go to your rooms. You can come out if you want to use the bathroom." But they wouldn't budge, so Spike and Jet had to drag them to the rooms. Both of them screeched madly and bit and kicked, forcing the bounty hunters to let go of them every now and again. They fought savagely, all the while screeching like angry parrots. At last, they managed to get Ed and Faye into Faye's room and shut the door. Both girls were howling. Jet sighed.  
  
"You alright? Ed bit you pretty hard from the looks of it."  
  
Jet rubbed the teeth marks in his arm. "Don't worry, I'm alright. I'm sure in a few moments they'll stop." But they did not. Ed and Faye were howling all through dinner, stopping only to catch their breath. It seemed that their two woman tantrum would not stop at all. Then at last, they stopped. Spike and Jet sighed in relief. Thank God that was over. They went to Faye's room and went in. Faye was sitting on the ground, her face tear stained. Ed on the other hand seemed to be back to her usual happy go lucky self. She was giggling and doing handstands.  
  
"I'm sorry Uncle Spike. I'm sorry daddy." Faye wept. "I won't do anything like that again."  
  
Jet smiled. "Glad to hear it. Now there's something else we need to take care of."  
  
"What's that Jet person?"  
  
"You two need baths. You're filthy from the crash." For a moment there was silence. Then...  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
There we go, part two is complete. If you think things are crazy now, wait until next chapter when they have to give Ed and Faye baths. Thank you for the ideas. See you again! -Randall Flagg2 


	3. Bathtime and Some Discipline

Okay, here we go with part three! Quickie update, ne? Hope your ready because it's bath time for Ed and Faye and boy oh boy are things gonna get crazy! Enjoy! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! -Randall Flagg2  
  
Spike dragged a wriggling Faye down the hallway to the bathroom. Faye was screaming and thrashing wildly in his grasp, determined to get away from the fate that awaited her. "Uncle Spike I don't wanna take a bath!" Faye whined.  
  
"Quiet! You're getting a bath if I have to bathe you myself!" Spike growled. He pushed open the bathroom door and stepped inside. He went to the bathtub and turned the nozzles on the side. The warm water began to flow from the faucet immediately. Faye struggled even more.  
  
"I don't wanna take a bath!!"  
  
"Too bad!" Faye finally resorted to drastic measures and bit Spike on the arm. With a grunt of pain, Spike let go and Faye darted down the hallway. Spike got to his feet and chased after her. Faye scrambled across the floor and into the kitchen. She before Spike entered, she quickly hid one of the cupboards. "He'll never find me here." she thought. It was then that her hand fell on a plastic bottle of something. Faye looked at it and in the dim light, she saw it read "vinegar". Holding her breath, Faye unscrewed the cap. This was going to be sweet.  
  
"Alright Faye, where are you? I know you're in here!" Spike called. He checked under the table. No sign of shrew girl. He looked in the first cupboard. Nobody in there either. Then he came to the next cupboard and saw the door was slightly open. Spike smiled and opened the door and found himself face to face with the shrew girl. "Alright, you come out and-"  
  
SQUIRT!! Spike suddenly screamed as a stinky, clear liquid flew out of the bottle Faye was holding and right into his eyes. The burning sensation started almost immediately. Spike screamed and staggered back, rubbing at his eyes. Faye giggled and squeezed the bottle again. It struck Spike in his crotch. The third blast caught him in his chest. Faye chuckled insanely and ran out of the room. When Spike's eyes stopped burning, he looked around. Drat, she had gotten away. Spike started to go after her when he saw his shipmates looking at him.  
  
"Uh, Spike?" Jet asked, pointing at the vinegar stain on Spike's pants. "Did you just... uh..."  
  
Ed doubled over with laughter. "Spike person made lemonade! Hahahahaha!!!"  
  
"Hey shut up!!" Spike roared. "She squirted me with vinegar and she got me in some other places besides my face alright?!"  
  
"Suuurrrree." Ed said sarcastically. Spike gave her the scariest glare that he could and resumed his search for Faye.  
  
Upstairs, Faye was laughing wildly over her latest escapade. She could not believe she had managed to pull it off! "Oh that was great!" Faye giggled, still clutching the vinegar bottle in one hand. "Maybe next time I'll use soap!"  
  
"Speaking of soap, you're still getting a bath." said a voice from behind her. Faye whirled around to see a very angry Spike standing in the doorway. She gulped. From the look on his face, he was going to do a lot more then just bathe her. Faye aimed the bottle at him again, but in a flash he descended on her. Faye was picked up by the seat of her pants and hoisted off of the ground. Spike grabbed the vinegar bottle out of her hands and threw it away. He began to walk downstairs.  
  
When he got to the bathroom, the bathtub was full. Spike shut off the water and closed the door. Faye made a grab for the doorknob, but he grabbed her. "I'm not taking a bath!" Faye screeched.  
  
"Tough beans!" Faye flung herself at the doorway. Spike grabbed her and pinned her to the ground like a spoiled child, which technically she was. After a long battle, Spike managed to undress her and toss her unceremoniously into the bathtub. Faye struggled and kicked water at him, but to no avail. Spike grabbed her and began to scrub her with a bar of soap. Faye wailed loudly and snapped at him with her teeth. When that didn't work, she took in a mouthful of soapy water and spat it in his eyes. Spike howled and rubbed vigorously at them. Faye got out of the bathtub, unlocked the door, and rushed out of the room. Spike groaned and went after her again.  
  
In the other bathroom, Jet was having similar problems with Ed. He hadn't taken her clothes off, he had just thrown her into the shower clothes and all. Ed was shrieking and floundering in the shower as Jet sprayed her with the shower nozzle. "Ed, come on! Act your age! This is immature, even for you!"  
  
"Ed no want shower! Ed wants to watch TV!!" Ed raised her fist and clocked Jet on his head. It was a surprisingly strong blow, sending Jet tumbling backwards. Ed leapt out of the shower and charged out of the room. Jet heard smaller footsteps approaching the room and saw a completely naked Faye run past him, a snarling Spike at her heels. Ein took one look at Faye and groaned, letting his ears droop. If he could have spoken, he would have said "Its hopeless." about now.  
  
"Faye you brat!! Come back here right now and take your bath or I'll-" Spike was cut off as he slipped on a puddle of soapy water left by Faye and Ed. He went flying through the air, spinning slightly, and crashed down on his back with an audible "THUD!!" Ed and Faye ran onwards towards the TV room.  
  
"What does Faye Faye want to watch with Edward?" Ed asked, still soaking wet from her shower.  
  
"How about a cartoon?" she asked. Ed smiled, her way of saying yes. She turned on the TV but nothing came up. Ed clicked tried the remote, and that didn't work either.  
  
"Naughty TV!" Ed growled.  
  
"No silly, it's just unplugged!" Faye said as she saw the cord to the TV laying on the ground. She picked it up and plugged it in. Unfortunately she was also wet and when she touched the cord...  
  
ZAP!! KABOOM!! The TV was bathed in electricity, and then it exploded. As if on cue, Spike entered the room with Jet following close behind him.  
  
Spike saw what was left of the TV and his vision slowly turned red. That was it. Faye had gone too far, even if it was an accident. With an angry snarl, Spike grabbed her by the wrist and began to drag her away.  
  
"Spike if you touch her I'll-"  
  
"Stay out of it Jet! If you know what's good for you, you'll let me do this my way!" Something in Spike's voice made him back off. This was not the usual anger that Spike usually expressed. This was a rage so great that words would not have been able to describe it. And he knew what was going to happen.  
  
Jet sighed in defeat. "Alright. Just don't overdo it." Spike seemed not to hear him as he dragged Faye to his bedroom. Ed looked very worried. Ein whimpered and let his ears droop. They all knew what was coming next and were powerless to stop it.  
  
In his room at last, Spike sat down on his bed and grabbed Faye firmly by the shoulders. "You listen to me Faye! Do you know what you just did?!"  
  
"It was just a TV! Can't we just get a new one?!"  
  
"That's not the point!" Spike snarled. "That was the only TV we have and without it we can't see what the latest bounties are! Even more, we barely have the money to buy a new one! In other words, we're financially screwed thanks to you!" Faye was on the verge of tears. Spike glared darkly at her. "You think you're crying now? Wait until I'm finished with you!" He grabbed the still naked Faye and laid her across his lap. Faye must have known what was going to happen because she began to scream her head off. Spike leveled his hand so it was at equal level with Faye's bottom and brought it whickering down. There was a loud SMACK as it connected with Faye's bottom. Faye started crying immediately. Spike raised his hand again and brought it crashing down again.  
  
"Faye I hope *SMACK SMACK SMACK* that you learn *SMACK SMACK SMACK* a lesson from this!! Or I'll *SMACK SMACK SMACK* gladly reeducate you again!" *SMACK SMACK SMACK* Faye's buttocks had turned bright pink by now, but Spike was not satisfied. He was not stopping until it was rose red. Faye was sobbing like a baby and begging Spike to let her off.  
  
"Please stop uncle Spike! It hurts!!" Faye bawled.  
  
"Quiet! I'm not *SMACK SMACK SMACK* stopping until I *SMACK SMACK SMACK* feel you've been punished enough!" Faye broke down completely and began to wail. The pain had become too great to describe. She thrashed madly but she was nowhere near as strong as Spike was in her current state.  
  
After twenty minutes of spanking, Faye's bottom had turned red enough to make a rose look black by comparison. But Spike decided that again he was not satisfied. So he continued spanking Faye for another twenty minutes. After twenty more minutes, Faye's once lovely butt was now not only blazing red, but it also had nine oozing blisters on each cheek. Satisfied, Spikes stopped.  
  
Spike looked down at Faye. She was bawling uncontrollably and her eyes were leaking tears like a waterfall. Spike rubbed her back to calm her. After a few minutes, Faye came down to moans and hiccups and she hugged Spike. Spike rocked her back and forth gently.  
  
"I'm sorry!" Faye sobbed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!"  
  
"It's alright. I'm glad you learned your lesson." Spike said in a much gentler tone. He set Faye on her feet. "Now are you going to take your bath without a fight?" Faye nodded. Spike led her to the bathroom and finished what they had started. This time, Faye took her bath without a fuss and allowed Spike to bathe her.  
  
Down the hall, Ed took her shower in silence, this time without Jet. She had heard what had been going on inside and had no intention of getting the same fate. Ed sighed. It didn't seem right to her at all that Spike should have to do that to get her to take a bath. On the other hand, she had also heard what Faye had done beforehand and had a feeling that she wouldn't have been able to help herself either. "Poor Faye Faye." Ed muttered. She finished her shower, got into her nightgown and headed off for bed.  
  
Meanwhile, Spike had managed to dry Faye off and get her back into her clothes. He could tell she was in pain by the way she winced when he got her into her yellow pants. Not wanting her to start crying, Spike gave her a small towel to tuck into her pants. Faye smiled and put it in. Spike smiled back. He would never admit it, but he deeply regretted what he had done. He had never spanked a child in his entire life, nor could he recall receiving such a punishment in his youth. Oh well. Faye had needed to be punished anyway. As long as he could remember, Faye had been as spoiled as spoiled could get. Spike was willing to bet money that she had not received much discipline when she was growing up. Oh well. Sometimes that was just the way things worked out. He led Faye off to her room and put her to bed. He walked out of the room when a hand fell on his shoulder.  
  
"If you're going to kick me out Jet, then just do it. I'm sorry for what I did, but I didn't know what else I could do." he said glumly.  
  
"No Spike, I'm not going to kick you out. I just wanted to tell you to try not to do it again. And don't worry about the TV. We can get another." Spike sighed in relief. He had been expecting Jet to toss him out of the bebop for good for hitting Faye. Why was he forgiving him anyway? Because he was feeling sorry for Faye and didn't want to make her cry by throwing him out? What? He didn't know. Spike let out a lazy chuckle. It was funny the way things worked out in life. Just as he and Jet left the room, there came a loud yell.  
  
"I want a story!!"  
  
And there is part four! I hope you liked it! Now please click the little button in the bottom left corner and write your thoughts or opinions on it. See you again! -Randall Flagg2 


	4. Fairy Tales Gone Wrong

Thank you so much for the reviews people! They really mean a lot to me. Now that Faye has gotten a bath, they have to tell her and Ed a story! And requests and ideas are going to be taken forevermore! So if you have any ideas, post them up. I can't do this alone you know.  
  
WARNING!!! WARNING!!!! There is something I should warn you of. This story WILL NOT be discontinued but after this chapter I am going to work on a YYH story that has been on my mind for awhile. It will be a few chapters long but after that I will get back to writing this. Once again, this story WILL NOT be discontinued. So keep a look out for it. Now read! -Randall Flagg2  
  
"I want a story before I go to bed!" Faye called again. Spike groaned. How much more of this would he have to put up with this? He only hoped that they could catch whatever had bitten Faye and find an antidote quickly. If they didn't, he was going to lose his sanity.  
  
"Great. Now we have to tell her a bedtime story. Could things get any worse?" Spike muttered.  
  
"Don't worry Spike. I'm sure that if we can catch bounties and deal with Ed and Ein, we can surely tell a little girl a bedtime story." Jet consoled. Spike sighed.  
  
"Alright. Let's get it on." Spike walked into Faye's room and sat down on her bed.  
  
"So what story do you want?" Spike asked. Before Faye could answer, Ed pranced merrily into the room.  
  
"Ed wants a story too! Ed wants to hear Spike person tell story!" she squealed.  
  
Spike rolled his eyes. "Jesus Ed, do you really need one? I mean your thirteen years old for crying out loud! Aren't you a little old for that?"  
  
Ed pouted, making her lips quiver and her eyes get shiny. "Please Spike person?"  
  
"Yeah, please uncle Spike?" Faye asked, mimicking Ed's reaction to his refusal.  
  
"Look, all I'm saying is-"  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Both girls began to wail loudly. Spike's hands shot to her ears as did Jet's. Spike couldn't believe he was putting up with this. He was a bounty hunter, not a babysitter!  
  
ALRIGHT DAMN IT!!" Spike roared. "I'll tell you a story. Sheesh!" The loud cries stopped almost immediately.  
  
"Thank you uncle Spike." Faye giggled. "Only one thing. Would you mind acting it out for us? It would be boring if you just tell it to us." Spike sighed again and motioned to his teammate.  
  
"Help me out, would you Jet? I can't do this on my own." Jet muttered something inaudible and walked towards into the room.  
  
"Alright, what story do you want?"  
  
"Ed and Faye Faye want to hear the story of Red Riding Hood!" Ed exclaimed.  
  
"Alright. Spike can be the girl and I'll be the wolf." Jet said. "Now who can be the grandmother?" Both bounty hunters looked at Ein. Realizing what they intended to use him for, Ein whimpered and began to back out of the room. Spike took a step forward. Ein took another step back. Then at last, the corgi bolted out of the room. Spike sprinted down the hall after him. From down the hall came the sound of growling accompanied by shrill barks and Spike yelling, half in pain and half in anger. After a few minutes Spike came back holding Ein by the nape of his neck. Ein had bruises and cuts all over his face and Spike was sporting multiple bite marks on his arms.  
  
"Stop struggling you dumb dog, or no dinner for a week!" Not wanting such a fate, Ein ceased his struggles and relaxed in Spike's grip. Spike set the corgi down on the ground and waited for Jet to begin the act.  
  
"Okay. Once upon a time in a forest there lived a young girl named Red Riding Hood. She was a very beautiful girl who also had a sick grandmother who lived on the other side of the woods."  
  
"When he says sick he means mentally ill you two. She would dance around to elevator music while wearing nothing but her-"  
  
"Spike shut up!" Jet snarled. "That isn't in the story!"  
  
"Sorry, just having a bit of fun." Spike said, shrugging his shoulders.  
  
"Anyway, one day the Red's mother sent her to her grandmother's house with a basket of goodies to give to her because she was sick."  
  
"Yeah. Gift's like poisons and draino because she was suicidal as well."  
  
"Spike person, what does suicidal mean?" Ed asked. Spike did not respond as Jet punched him across the face.  
  
"Be serious or else Spike!"  
  
"Jeez, sorry!" Spike growled, rubbing his chin.  
  
"Anyway, the girl was walking through the woods when she came upon a wolf." Jet went outside the room and came back in wearing a cranberry red bed sheet over his back and head, making it look like he was wearing a cloak and a hood. He also held an empty basket in his hands. Faye and Ed giggled at the sight of Jet dressed like this, while Spike and Ein sighed. This was really degrading for them. Jet walked almost casually towards Spike and stopped in front of him.  
  
"I said she came upon a wolf Spike!" Jet whispered. Spike sighed and pounced on Jet, mauling him and baring his teeth. Jet threw him off.  
  
"Spike what are you doing?!"  
  
"You said she saw a wolf, so I tried attacking you! What else would a wolf do?"  
  
"Remember it's a fairy tale Spike! Didn't you have something called a childhood?!"  
  
"Alright fine. Little girl, where are you going?"  
  
"I'm going to visit my grandmother who is on the other side of the woods." Jet replied.  
  
"Well if you're doing that, take the left path. It's a shortcut." Spike said blandly. Jet walked off towards the left and began narrating again.  
  
"Little did Red Riding Hood know that this was actually the long way. While she went that way, the wolf took the real shortcut."  
  
"Spooky!" Ed exclaimed. Faye nodded in agreement.  
  
"So the wolf arrived at the grandmother's house and went in and ate her."  
  
Spike looked at Jet who glared distrustfully at him. "I'm supposed to eat him?" Spike asked.  
  
"Just make it look like it at least!" So Spike grabbed Ein up and put his mouth around the corgi's nose. Ein yelped in fear and struggled to free himself.  
  
"Poor grandma." Faye sighed.  
  
"So the wolf put on the grandmother's clothes and got into her bed." Jet narrated. Spike looked at him aghast.  
  
"I'm not dressing up like an old lady Jet!" He received another punch, this time from Jet's cybernetic arm.  
  
"Just do it! You want them to start crying again Spike?!" Jet hissed. Spike growled slightly, but did as he was told. He went to what had been Faye's closet and came out with something. He went off to the bathroom to change. When he came back, he was dressed in one of Faye's silk nightgowns. Ed, Faye, and Jet got a good laugh at this. Spike glanced down at Ein. The back of the dog's lips contracted upwards, but no growl was heard, nor did his ears flatten against his head. Spike felt an incredible urge to give Ein a swift kick. He couldn't believe it. The damn dog was smiling at him!  
  
"Anyway," Jet continued, "Red Riding Hood got to her grandmother's house and went in. She walked up to her bedside and exclaimed Grandma! What big eyes you have!"  
  
Spike sighed. "All the better to see you dear."  
  
"And what big ears you have!"  
  
Spike's voice took on a growling tone. "All the better to hear you dear."  
  
Jet had finally reached the climax of the story. "And Grandma! What big teeth you have!"  
  
Spike grabbed at the basket in Jet's arms. "I'm not biting you Jet! I'm taking the stuff in here instead!"  
  
"Spike! Can't you do anything right?!" Jet roared.  
  
"Alright fine. All the better to eat you with!" Spike lunged at Jet. Jet resumed narrating.  
  
"Anyway, a hunter happened to be walking by and heard the girl screaming for help. He ran in, shot the wolf and-"  
  
Faye started bawling. "Oh no!! The poor wolf!!"  
  
"Alright fine! A policeman happened to be walking by and heard the Red screaming. So he ran in and cuffed the wolf, saving her." Jet sighed.  
  
"Much better!" Faye said cheerfully.  
  
"Red Riding hood was saved and the wolf got sent to the zoo and the grandmother was still dead. And things turned out alright. The End." Jet said. "Now go to bed you two."  
  
"No way! We're not tired! We want a-" And then both girls fell down asleep. Jet smiled slightly.  
  
"There such angels."  
  
"Yeah, when they're asleep." Spike muttered. He went into the bathroom and got back into his normal clothes. Spike picked up Ed and carried her to her room. He would never admit it, but she was kind of cute like that. Spike and Jet walked off to get ready for bed themselves when Faye woke up.  
  
"Daddy? Uncle Spike? I want a glass of water!"  
  
"Don't worry Jet. I'll handle this." Spike said. As Jet went off to his room for sleep, Spike got Faye a glass of water and waited while she drank it. When she was asleep, Spike walked off.  
  
"I'm still thirsty!" Spike sighed and got her another glass of water. He walked out again and Faye woke up and demanded another glass of water. An angry growl rising out of his throat, Spike did it once again. This time when Faye fell asleep, Spike waited a few minutes to see if she would wake up again. She didn't. Satisfied, Spike slowly crept out of her room when a different call interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"Uncle Spike?"  
  
"What now Faye?" Spike asked irritably.  
  
"I just wet the bed!!"  
  
Needless to say, Spike had to use all of his willpower to hold back the angry roar which wanted to come out of his mouth.  
  
And there we have it people! Part four is up! Once again, I should warn you that now I will work on a YYH story but this one WILL NOT be discontinued. It's just that I have this new idea itching at me and when I don't work on it immediately, it kind of prevents me from writing well. So you'll just have to wait a bit for another update to this story. Keep an eye out for it. See you! -Randall Flagg2 


	5. A mess at the Diner

Okay, here's part five. I'm back from California and I feel great!! You can IM me or send me mail again. Now read! -Randall Flagg2  
  
Spike awoke groggily from his bed. Gods above, what a night it had been. Spike could not recall in all his life a night more horrendous then last night. First he had to tell a story to Faye and Ed with Jet, then Faye had drank enough water to induce bedwetting, and then when after he had changed the sheets and gotten her to go to sleep, she had had nightmares. Worst of all, Faye had not fallen asleep until Spike had sang to her, something which he found to be very degrading. But in the end, everything had turned out alright. Faye had fallen asleep and Spike had finally been allowed to go to bed for the night. He would have been satisfied if not for the fact that it had been four in the morning when he had finally gone to sleep. "What a night." he muttered. "What a fucking crazy night."  
  
Spike got out of bed and got dressed into his usual attire. He walked out of the room and wandered off towards the kitchen where his comrades were waiting.  
  
"So Jet, what's for breakfast?" he asked.  
  
"That's a problem Spike. We don't have anything for breakfast. We only have some cans of dog food for Ein and that's it." Jet replied. Spike moaned. This was just dandy. No food, meant no breakfast. And no breakfast meant an empty stomach which Spike hated above all else. Now what could they do?  
  
"Ed is hungry." Ed whined from the kitchen table. "Ed wants food."  
  
"I'm hungry too daddy." Faye whined. "Isn't there anything onboard?"  
  
"Sorry you guys, but we're all out. I don't know what we can do." Everybody except Ein was starving. If there was anything the bebop crew truly hated, it was going hungry. It seemed that nobody would get any breakfast when Ed spoke up.  
  
"Ed has an idea! We can go to a food place!!"  
  
"What's a food place? You mean a restaurant?" Spike asked.  
  
"Yeah, she does." Faye said. Spike smiled at his own idiocy. How could he have not thought of that in the first place? Besides, they had a good deal of money from their last bounty. It would be easy to pay.  
  
"Alright then, let's go. I'm pretty hungry and a diner would be nice right about now." Spike said. He and Jet went off to the control room and set course for mars.  
  
When the good ship bebop finally landed, everybody got out. They walked out, surveying the landscape for a bit, and then they went off to find a suitable diner for breakfast. After a short while, they found a place to eat and went in.  
  
They were greeted with a most unpleasant sight. When they got into the diner, it was packed with people and there was a long line of people who were waiting to be seated. Jet sighed. He hated this kind of thing.  
  
Faye stamped her foot angrily. "I want a seat now!" she whined. "I hate standing up early in the morning!"  
  
"Calm down. I'm sure that we'll get a seat soon." Spike said. Faye pouted and stamped her foot again, causing some people to flash the evil eye at her. Spike rolled his eyes. This was not his line of work.  
  
Ed meanwhile, was growing more and more impatient. Much like Faye, she wanted to be seated as quickly as possible. "Ed wants to sit down!! Ed is getting bored!!" Spike and Jet did they're best to ignore her. If they started crying or screaming or whatnot, they were going to lose it. Last night had been hard enough.  
  
"I want to sit in a booth!"  
  
"Ed prefers chairs!!" Ed replied to Faye.  
  
"Uncle Spike, tell her that we're going to sit in a booth!!" Faye said angrily.  
  
"Leave me out of this." Spike growled.  
  
"See?! He said we're sitting where I want to sit!" Faye snorted, sticking out her tongue.  
  
"Spike person didn't say that!!" Ed yelled. "We will sit in chairs!"  
  
"Booths!"  
  
"Chairs!!"  
  
"Booths!!"  
  
"Chairs!!" It continued like this for quite some time. People glared at Jet and Spike darkly, making them shrink away.  
  
"Jet if they keep this up I'm going to lose my temper again!" Spike whispered.  
  
"Even though I won't admit it, I think I will too." Jet said. But of course they were in public and doing such a thing here might get them into trouble. So they just swallowed their pride and let the two girls bicker.  
  
It took an hour, but they finally got a seat. Ed and Faye had been arguing back and forth the entire time. To ensure that there wouldn't be any problems, Spike and Jet got a table that had both chairs and a booth. Ed and Faye were satisfied and the fighting ceased. Soon enough, a waitress appeared to take orders.  
  
"Welcome to our diner. What can I get you?"  
  
Spike went first. "I'll just have some coffee."  
  
"Same here." said Jet.  
  
"Ed will have chocolate milk!"  
  
"So will I!" Faye piped.  
  
"Alright, just wait a moment and I'll be back with your drinks." The waitress walked off and a few minutes later came back with the drinks. "Here you are. Now what would you like to eat?"  
  
"I'll have some eggs and bacon." Spike said.  
  
"I'll get the same thing as him."  
  
"Ed wants scrambled eggs and toast!"  
  
"I'll have French toast!" The waitress wrote down their orders and walked off. Ed took a sip of her chocolate milk and started blowing bubbles in it.  
  
"Ed stop that! It's not polite to do that!" Jet scolded. Ed ignored him and continued blowing bubbles, much to the annoyance of the people around her. Then Faye joined her.  
  
"I can blow bubbles better then you Ed!" Faye challenged. Ed grinned and blew bubbles like never before. She did it so hard that the bubbles came out of her glass. Jet and Spike groaned. Then Faye blew into her glass so hard that little splashes of milk came flying out and blasted Spike and Jet in the face. The two bounty hunters slowly felt their vision turning red. They were only putting up with this because if they lost their tempers here, they would get into trouble.  
  
"Sorry daddy. Sorry uncle Spike." Faye giggled. "I won't do it anymore." Then Ed took some milk into her straw and shot it at Faye. Faye ducked and it hit an older woman behind her. She was on her feet in an instant and marched over to where the bebop were.  
  
"Can't you control you're children! They are ruining my breakfast!" she scolded, shaking her finger in Spike's face.  
  
"Alright lady, sorry! Ed, Faye, quit it!" Ed and Faye did not listen. Instead they took milk into their straws and shot it at the old woman. She screamed as the squirts struck her directly in the eyes. Jet's jaw dropped. This was not really happening. The woman opened her eyes and glared at the two girls.  
  
"You naughty girls!! Didn't your parents give you any discipline?!" At that, Ed and Faye did more then just spit milk at her. They grabbed their glasses and threw the contents directly into her face.  
  
The woman stood there for a moment, wondering how she should handle this situation. Then with an angry roar she swung her cane at them. Spike jumped in front of her and ended up getting hit in the face. The woman let out another scream and bashed Spike in the side of his stomach. Spike grunted and blocked her third swing. As quickly as she had gotten angry the woman calmed down.  
  
"Well I never! I'm leaving!" The old woman stormed out of the diner. Spike moaned and rubbed his sore spots. Man oh man, they hurt like hell. With a grunt, Spike sat down in the booth again. As if on cue, the waitress came back with the food.  
  
"Here you are. Enjoy your meal." she said cheerfully and walked off. The bebop began to dig into their food. As Spike and Jet ate, Faye took a packet of syrup and poured it in Ed's lap.  
  
"Hey!!" Ed screamed and put some of her scrambled eggs in Faye's hair. Spike and Jet were praying to the gods that this was not really happening. Then Ed grabbed Faye's head and slammed it into the plate of French toast. Faye screamed, got up, and opened one of the packets of jam. She threw it in Ed's face. Ed growled irritably and tackled Faye. They both began rolling around the floor, both of them fighting like cats and dogs. Some of the people stared at the two girls, while others settled for glaring at Spike and Jet. Spike got up from the table and grabbed the two of them in separate arms.  
  
"Will you two stop this?! If you don't I'm going to-" And that was all he got out before Ed sank her pointy teeth into his arm. Spike yelped and let go of her, giving the two of them a chance to get away. Jet lunged at them but tripped on a puddle of syrup from Faye. The man that was formerly known as the black dog went tumbling head over heels into Spike, bowling him over.  
  
"Get off of me you big oaf!" Spike yelled, pushing Jet off of him. They looked around for the girls and saw them not. Then they saw a puddle of syrup on the floor that led into the kitchen. Spike realized at once where they had gone.  
  
In the kitchen, the cooks were busily trying to pull a pair of squabbling girls apart, but every time they would get close to them they would get bitten, kicked, or punched. Ed and Faye were rolling around the room, inflicting blow after powerful blow on each other. Neither of them showed any signs of slowing down or stopping. This was all out war.  
  
"Stop this right now! You've done enough damage!" one of the cooks shouted. And indeed they had done damage. Bottles of cooking oil had been spilt everywhere and pans had been knocked off of stoves. But that was not enough to stop Ed and Faye. Not nearly enough. They continued fighting for sometime until they crashed the back wall, jarring the fuse box on the wall, shorting out the power to the building. Everything became very dark. Ed blundered around in the dark with her hands to see where she was.  
  
"Faye Faye? Cook people? Where are you all?" she asked. Nobody answered. "Spooky." Ed whispered. When her eyes became more adjusted to the dark, Ed saw a box of matches on one of the counters. She picked up the box, took out a match, and lit it up, illuminating the room. The cooks were gone, and so was Faye. Ed searched around in search of the shrew girl, but could not find any trace of her. Then something caught her eye and Ed bent down to examine the interior of a large stove. Unfortunately, this stove happened to be a gas powered one and it also happened to be turned on. Ed leaned in, match in hand.  
  
BOOM!!! The gas inside the stove ignited immediately. Ed screamed in surprise and jumped away as a blast of fire flew out of the stove. It struck the wall and that caught on fire as well. Ed saw the open door and ran out of the room as it caught on fire. "Jet person! Spike person! The kitchen caught on fire!!" And then the flames spread out into the main area of the diner. Ed caught a glimpse of Spike and Jet, running out of the building. Soon enough, everybody else was fleeing the diner. Ed surveyed the room to find Faye and found her under a chair. She grabbed Faye and ran out of the building just as the flames began to reach outside the building as well as inside. Both girls were greeted by a pair of glaring bounty hunters.  
  
Spike and Jet had never been as angry as they were right now. "What the hell were you thinking?!!" Jet roared. "Do you even know how much this is going to cost us?!!" Ed and Faye suddenly became very interested in examining their feet. "When we get home you two are going straight to your rooms, no lunch or dinner!" Jet scolded.  
  
"Yes Daddy."  
  
"Yes Jet person." Before the firemen or the police could arrive, the bebop left for their ship. Needless to say, there would be a special report on how a diner caught on fire, Ed and Faye would be crying in their rooms from hunger, and Spike and Jet would have to shell out a lot of money when the authorities finally showed up at their door.  
  
And there you have it. Part five. It's good to be back in New York again. Well, I have to go for now. I think I'll continue the other story I recently posted. See you!! -Randall Flagg2 


	6. Bounty on Board

I am so sorry for the late update but once again I am running out of ideas. If you don't want this to end next chapter, then GIVE ME SOME IDEAS!!! YOU DON'T WANT THIS STORY TO END SO QUICKLY DO YOU?!!!! -Randall Flagg2  
  
"Found it! Found it! Ed fooooooouuuuunnnnnnd it!!" came the piercing squeal from down the hall.  
  
"Found what?" Spike asked, walking down the hall towards Ed's room. Jet and Ein followed suite. Faye was already waiting with Ed. Displayed on Ed's computer was a picture of a man in a leather jacket and jeans. His face was ruddy and handsome with long brown hair. Ed pressed a button and the information on this man was displayed.  
  
Name: Lance Argyle  
  
Age: 45  
  
Occupation: Architect and hired assassin.  
  
Reward: Two million woolongs  
  
Spike smiled. Two million woolongs was a good deal of money. And what did that mean? That it was time to go bounty hunting again. "Come on Jet. It's time to go hunting again." he said, walking out the door.  
  
"Wait Spike. What are we supposed to do with the girls?"  
  
"I'm sure we can leave them alone for awhile. They couldn't do any harm." Spike turned to Ed and Faye and shot an icy glare at them. "Right girls?"  
  
"Sure Spike person! Ed and Faye will be good!" Ed replied. If she had sounded anymore innocent, a halo might have appeared over her head. That made Jet worry even more. Leaving Ed alone was enough, but Ed and Faye? No, that most definitely wouldn't be good.  
  
"I don't know Spike. I think-"  
  
"Come on Jet! What could go wrong?" Spike said.  
  
"A lot more then you would think." Jet muttered. He didn't trust these two.  
  
"Well what do you propose Jet? That we hire a sitter?" Spike said sarcastically. Jet sighed and conceived to Spike.  
  
"Alright. But if they ruin the ship Spike, you are out on your behind."  
  
"That's getting very old Jet." Spike turned to Ed and Faye. "You guys be good while we're gone okay?"  
  
Ed pouted. "But Spike person, Ed wants to come!"  
  
"I know you want to come but it's dangerous and we don't want you getting hurt. Even more, you're not cut out for fighting tough bounties."  
  
"Well Ed thinks that-"  
  
"You have no say in the matter." Spike said coldly. Ed wanted to protest but Spike was giving her his "disagree with me if you dare" look. With a sigh, Ed quieted down.  
  
"Okay. Ed and Faye Faye will stay behind." Spike's look became warm again.  
  
"Good. Maybe we'll bring you back something." With that, he walked out of the room with Jet towards the control room. Soon enough, the bebop began to descend towards Mars. Within a half hour it had landed and Spike and Jet were on their way out to hunt for Lance.  
  
Atop a building, Lance Argyle was perched on the edge of a roof with a large rifle in his hand. He wore a trench coat and old khakis. Over his eyes were a pair of dark sunglasses. His hair flapped behind his head in the wind. Today was the day. The day he would accomplish what he had been hired to do. Of course it was. It was, after all, what he was hired to do. All he had to do was wait for his target to come into sight and then he would raise the rifle and it would be over. It would be soon. He could feel it. But once that unlucky person got into his sights-  
  
"And what do we have here?" said a voice from behind him. Lance whirled around to find himself looking at a pair of men, one with green hair, the other bald, with their guns drawn.  
  
"Spike Spiegal and Jet Black. Who would have thought?" Lance remarked.  
  
"You know who we are?"  
  
"Anybody with a bounty on their heads knows about you." Lance replied. He lowered the rifle and adjusted his coat. "Well if you want to take me, then you'll have to fight me."  
  
Spike cocked the hammer on his pistol. "Well that can be arra-" Before he could finish, Lance darted at him with such speed that Spike only caught a flicker of movement. One minute Lance was standing not ten feet away from them, and in the next he was in front of Jet. With one sweep of his arm, he sent Jet onto his back and the gun flying out of his hand. Spike threw his gun on the ground and began to spar with Lance, launching multiple kicks at the man's head. But this man was much tougher then he looked. Lance almost danced away from Spike's barrage of kicks and then darted at him again. As Spike threw an upwards kick at him, Lance ducked and brought his fist flying upwards in an uppercut which hammered Spike in the crotch. Spike uttered a thin scream and fell to the ground. Instead of hitting the ground, Spike's landed stomach first on Lance's fist. That was all it took. All the fight went out of Spike and he collapsed to the ground. Lance got to his feet and looked down at the bounty hunter.  
  
"I expected more from people like you. In the meantime, I think I'll help myself to your ship." Spike gasped. Surely this man didn't mean that. Ed and Faye were still onboard! Take Ein maybe, but not them!  
  
"If you do anything to the ship I'll-" But Lance was already gone.  
  
Back on board the bebop, Ed and Faye were becoming increasingly bored. Since Spike and Jet had left, the quietness onboard had become disturbing and they were desperate for something to happen.  
  
"Ed is boring bored." Ed whined as she typed mindlessly on her computer.  
  
"I'm even more bored. I wish we could have come with them." Faye sighed. "I wish something would happen." Just as Faye finished what she was saying, a loud growl was heard from the hallway followed by footsteps.  
  
"Ein must see something!" Ed exclaimed and ran out into the hallway to find herself face to face with a man whom she had never seen before. Ed's smile brightened.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" Lance growled.  
  
"Ed's name is Ed. What is person man's name?"  
  
Lance advanced on her, despite the fact Ein's teeth were bared and that his growling had become a series of ferocious shrill barks. "Who I am is of no importance. I asked you who you are!"  
  
"Name name Ed wants you name!" Ed sang merrily.  
  
"Fine then. My name is Lance Argyle. I'm the bounty your comrades were hunting for! Now get out of my way!" Ed made no move to do so and Lance made as if to strike her. Ein promptly sank his fangs into Lance's legs. Lance screamed.  
  
"You lousy mutt! Let go of me!" Lance grabbed Ein and flung him across the room. Faye stepped out and giggled at the sight of Lance.  
  
"Hello mister! Would you like to play with us?" Faye asked.  
  
"No I don't want to play! Now get out of my way or-" And then it was Faye's turn to bite his leg.  
  
"We'll play dog and mailman now! Me and Ed will be the dogs and you can be the mailman!"  
  
"No I'm not playing your stupid game! I-" And then a loud, deep growling noise filled the room. He looked down to see Ed looking up at him, growling on all fours. Lance tried to say something but could not bring himself to speak. There was something inhuman about the red headed hacker. Something in the way her eyes looked deranged and her teeth as sharp as animal fangs. But what made him so nervous was the way Ed was growling so deeply in the back of her throat. It was like listening to an animal, one that was much bigger then a dog.  
  
"No. I'm not going to run." Lance thought boldly. They were after all, just children. And Lance Argyle was most definitely not afraid of children. But then his common sense kicked in and he decided fleeing would indeed be the better option. They were after all, just little girls. So he turned tail and ran back down the way he came.  
  
The effect on the girls was immediate. They both took after him as fast as they could, both of them growling and making barking sounds. Ein would have joined them, but he had a feeling that they had things under control. It would be one thing if it were other dogs who were going after Lance, but doing it with humans who acted like dogs was just too much. Even more, Ein's instincts told him that if he attacked this man again, he would have been beaten up badly. So he stayed behind and waited for the results of the chase.  
  
Lance meanwhile, had made it to the kitchen for his part. The man stopped to catch his breath, surveying his surroundings. He had changed his mind about fleeing the girls and had decided to fight after all. But what could he use? He had left his rifle behind and there was no weapon within his sight. But then a smile crept over his face as he remembered something important. This was a kitchen, so there had to be knives. He opened one of the drawers and much to his pleasure, found a set of rather sharp looking knives. As if on cue, the girls rounded the corner.  
  
"Catch!" Lance called and hurled the knife forward. Ed and Faye jumped to the side as the knife imbedded itself in the wall. Lance dug into the drawer again and threw another knife. This one missed as well and the wall was decorated with a silver blade again. Ed got onto all fours and snarled bitterly at Lance. Faye followed suite.  
  
"Edward and Faye shall catch the mail person!" Ed screamed. Lance had no intention of letting that happen. He grabbed the last two knives and tossed them in the girl's general direction. Again, both of them missed their intended targets. Lance wheeled around and fled with the snapping girls at his heels.  
  
Lance finally managed to get into Spike's bedroom and lock the door. Ed and Faye stopped in front of the door, knowing that their prey was safe from them now. Now what could they do? Until he came out, they were stuck with nothing to do. So what could they do to entertain themselves now? If only-  
  
Wait. An idea was coming to them. That was it! A wicked smile crossed Faye's lips. She knew what they could do. Just because Lance had locked himself away in Spike's room didn't mean they couldn't play with him anymore. Still smiling, she turned to Ed.  
  
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking Ed?" she asked.  
  
"Edward has a rough idea of what is in Faye Faye's head!" Cackling, the girls set to work.  
  
After some odd number of hours, Lance stepped out of Spike's room. It was completely silent. No sign of those crazy girls. Good. That meant it was safe to come out. Lance took one last look around the hallway and stepped out. Just as he did however, his foot slipped on something. Lance suddenly found himself falling onto his back with a loud bang. With a grunt Lance felt around the ground to discover the ground was covered with grease. No wonder he had slipped. Lance got to his feet but slipped again and this time he went sliding across the room. There was a loud crash as he slammed into the wall on the other side of the hallway. Lance got to his feet, this time managing to stand up successfully.  
  
"So this is the best you girls have?! I figured you had more in store for me!" he called. Just as Lance walked out of the hallway, he tripped over a wire. Lance went flying into the ground again. With an angry snarl, he sprung to his feet. And just as he did, a bucket of water fell on him.  
  
Cursing a mouthful of obscenities, Lance got up. He had forgotten about not hurting the girls. When he found them, he was going to kill them no matter what happened. Lance stepped forward again, and that's when it happened. A rope suddenly clamped around his ankle and hoisted him into the air like a pig in a slaughterhouse. Ed and Faye came out of a nearby doorway, both of them giggling.  
  
"Person person has fallen for trappy trap!" Ed squealed. "Now we will have some fun with person person!" Ed stepped up in front of Lance and rolled up her sleeves.  
  
"What are you going to do?" Lance asked nervously.  
  
"Edward thinks person person looks like a punching bag like that!" Ed squealed. Lance realized what was going to happen and began to scream and thrash around. But it was too late. Ed cocked her fist back and slung it forward. Lance felt all the air whiff out of him as her fist sunk into his stomach. Faye joined in as well, slugging Lance in his head again and again. After some time, they stopped. Lance sighed with relief. It was finally over. Then Ed and Faye turned to Ein who had walked in to see what was going on.  
  
"Hi Ein!" Faye said. "Would you like to play with him?" Ein barked merrily and walked up to Lance and opened his mouth. Lance's head was thankfully at ground level with him.  
  
Lance began to scream.  
  
Spike and Jet stumbled into their ship. The beating they had gotten had taken a lot out of them and they were still in pain from Lance's attack on them. Both of them were hoping that he hadn't really gotten on board. If he had, there was no telling what he might have done. It was only when they stepped inside that they heard the screams. Spike and Jet rushed to the kitchen and saw the sight before them.  
  
Lance was quite a mess. His clothes were wet and his face was covered in bite marks. Ein, Ed, and Faye stood nearby. Spike and Jet looked at the girls in awe.  
  
"You guys did this?" Spike asked.  
  
"Yep! We sure did!" Faye chimed. "We caught him!"  
  
"Nice going Faye. Maybe you guys do have bounty hunting skills after all." Jet remarked.  
  
"He was the bounty?" Faye asked. "Who would have thought?"  
  
"Oh well. At least we caught the bounty. Nice going girls." Spike said. Ed and Faye both giggled. Lance was still screaming. Ein seemed to be smiling. In other words, everything had worked out.  
  
And that is part six people. I REALLY REALLY REALLY NEED IDEAS!!!! Thank you. Bye! -Randall Flagg2 


	7. Shopping Spree

Time for part seven. Thank you so much for the ideas. This chapter is a little short, but it's a good one. Be warned though, this was made late at night and when I write things late at night, I get crazy! -Randall Flagg2  
  
It was a time of rejoicing for the bebop. Ever since they had turned in Lance Argyle to the authorities, they had been celebrating their large reward. It would definitely provide for them for awhile. There was only one question now. What could they do with all the money now that they had it? That was what they were debating at this very moment.  
  
"I vote we use it to repair the ship. It needs a paint job and some of its parts are missing." said Jet.  
  
"No I disagree. We should use it to repair the smaller ships. My swordfish II and your hammerhead need some work."  
  
"Well Spike, you don't own the main ship and I say we repair that first!" Jet argued. They continued going back and forth for some time until Ed and Faye wondered into the room.  
  
"Uh, Jet person? Ed thinks-"  
  
"Quiet! This doesn't concern you!" Jet scolded.  
  
"Um, daddy? Can we just ask you something?" Faye pleaded.  
  
"Alright fine. What do you want?"  
  
"Why don't we go shopping for food? We need food!" Faye stated. That caught Spike and Jet's attention. They had entirely forgotten about the food in the ship and now they remembered they were in desperate need of food and drink.  
  
"You know, I think you really have something going there Faye. What do you think Spike?"  
  
Spike smiled lazily. "I think it's a good idea. We could use some food. I say we hit the super market!" he exclaimed. And that settled it. Their next destination was the market on Mars. After an hour or so, they had arrived on the red planet and were ready to shop.  
  
"Now I don't want you causing any trouble, you hear me?" Jet said sternly to the two girls as they stepped into the supermarket.  
  
"No daddy we won't." Faye said innocently. Ed only smiled. Ed went with Spike and Faye with Jet.  
  
Jet went down the seafood isle, looking over the various fish that were on display. There was so much to choose from that he was having trouble deciding. Should he get the sushi, the trout, or both? Or maybe a lobster?  
  
"Faye what kind of fish do you think we should-" And that was all Jet got out before he heard a splash. He turned around and almost screamed at the sight before him. "This is not happening." Jet thought. "This is not happening."  
  
Faye Valentine, brat that she was, had apparently decided that she wanted to go swimming. Even more, she had decided to swim in the lobster tank. Jet reached into the tank to fish Faye out, but he failed to notice the puddle of water on the floor. Jet slipped on it and fell face first into the lobster tank. Instead of coming out with the yellow clothed brat, he came out with lobsters all over his face and body.  
  
"AAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!" Jet howled in pain and fell onto the ground, rolling around as he tried to pry the lobsters off. All the while, people stared at him, wondering what in the name of God he was doing.  
  
"Mommy? Why is that man screaming and rolling around with lobsters on his body?" A little boy asked.  
  
"No honey, don't pay any attention to him." the mother said and turned her son away.  
  
Jet finally managed to get the lobsters off of him. Growling deeply in the recesses of his throat, the former black dog of the ISSP got to his feet and grabbed Faye up by the seat of her pants.  
  
"Let go of me! I promise I'll be good!" Faye whined.  
  
Jet only continued to glare darkly at her. "Normally Faye, I'm against spanking but this time I'm going to-" And that was all he got out before an angry yell echoed from down the isle.  
  
Further down the isle, Spike was having similar problems with a rambunctious young hacker. Ed had stumbled upon the pastry isle and had decided to see what was in the cream and filled doughnuts. The girl was giggling and squeezing every one of them as she opened the doors guarding the delicious treats.  
  
Spike advanced on Ed. "Ed you stop this or I'll-" And then Ed whirled around and let out a vicious snarl. Not used to seeing Ed mad, Spike backed away and ended up tripping over his own feet. Spike fell onto his back and to add insult to injury the back of his head landed in a puddle of jelly and cream. Ed laughed even louder.  
  
"Spike person fell down!" Ed crowed. She then resumed squeezing the cream filled doughnuts, spilling out their contents all over the ground. Spike jumped to his feet and grabbed Ed by the collar of her shirt and shook her like an angry child would shake a ragdoll.  
  
"What the heck are you doing?!!! Can't you ever behave?!!" Spike roared. Ed's eyes began to well up with tears. Spike immediately let go of her. She wouldn't dare do that here! "No wait. I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean to-"  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! !!!" It was too late. Ed began to wail hysterically. And did she attract attention? Did she ever. Spike put a hand over Ed's mouth to muffle the noise, but then she bit him and he let go. Ed resumed her infernal noise. As Spike contemplated over what he should do, a very large man approached Spike.  
  
"Hey buddy." Said a deep voice. Spike turned around to face a man who looked to be in the two hundred fifty to three hundred pound range and it wasn't in terms of fat. The man was extremely muscular, almost enough to make Jet look small by comparison, and he topped Spike in height by three feet. Spike felt a wave of terror come over him. This man could easily break him in half.  
  
"Uh... can I help you with something?" Spike asked nervously.  
  
"Did you hurt this girl?" the man asked. Before Spike could answer, Ed spoke.  
  
"He did! Spike person hurt Edward badly!" Ed bawled. Spike could not bring himself to speak, he was so shocked that Ed would lie like this. A rough, calloused hand descended on his shoulder.  
  
"I really hate pieces of shit like you who hit their kids. Let's see how you like being hit." the man growled, and before Spike could move the giant's fist collided with his face. Spike screamed in pain and threw a punch at his adversary, only to jerk away in pain when his fist connected with what felt like a brick wall instead of human skin. The man grabbed Spike up by his collar and turned to Ed.  
  
"You're going to be alright kid. Leave him to me." Ed smiled and sat down on the floor to watch the spectacle unfold. Spike's shrieks of pain and the loud thud of the giant's fists resounded in the market hallways. Nobody bothered to help, because after Jet's accident with the lobsters and Ed's adventure with the doughnuts, they had decided that they had had enough weirdness for one day.  
  
After the beating was done, Spike got to his feet as carefully as he could. He felt as if a car had run over him. He glared up at Ed who was just giggling at him and sitting in a puddle of doughnut cream and jelly. He didn't care what happened this time. He only knew one thing as of this moment. When he got home, Ed was not going to sit down for a week, regardless of what anybody thought.  
  
"Spike person got what Spike person deserved!" Ed giggled.  
  
"Not as much as your going to get it!" Spike growled. Before he could do anything, Jet came around the corner dragging Faye behind him.  
  
"I take it from your expression that things didn't go well for you either?" Spike asked.  
  
"Nope. Faye decided she wanted to go swimming in the lobster tank!" Jet muttered. Faye pouted and wrenched free of Jet's grip. She and Ed ran off towards the cereal isle.  
  
"Now what could they possibly want in the cereal isle?" Jet asked to nobody. Spike and Jet walked towards where the girls had gone and rounded the corner.  
  
The sight before them was too much.  
  
An entire row of cereals had been dumped on the floor, the boxes torn open crudely. Ed and Faye were still tearing open boxes and dumping the contents on the ground. And from the looks of it, they were not stopping until they had opened all the boxes.  
  
"Where are the prizes?!" Faye whined as she opened a box of cereal. "I want a prize!"  
  
"Ed wants prize too!" Ed replied. Spike and Jet's jaws dropped. Could anything else happen? Probably not.  
  
"Your kids opened them, you guys bought them!" a voice said. Spike turned to face the store manager. It seemed something else could happen after all. Spike almost screamed in rage. This was not his idea of a shopping trip! Shopping trips were supposed to be quiet and painless, not loud and agonizing. Spike and Jet both forked over most of their money and left the store with Ed and Faye and only a few groceries.  
  
Spike did not live up to his promise to whale on Ed's backside, but he did manage to send her to her room for the entire day. Faye went with her. So it was just another night of dealing with loud screaming and having to endure another paltry dinner.  
  
Okay, so that's part seven. I told you this was churned out late at night! Hope you liked it! -Randall Flagg2 


	8. The End Or is it?

I am SO SORRY it took me so long to update but I have at long last. Sorry but I had to bring this to an end. I couldn't think of anything else. Thank you so much for the reviews and suggestions! I hope you will continue to read and review my stories. -Randall Flagg2  
  
Ein stretched and yawned in the dim hallway of the bebop. It had been a good nap, but not as good as it could have been. But nevertheless, it had been satisfying. The corgi slowly got to his feet and surveyed the hallway. Nothing new here it seemed. Oh well. Nothing much happened here anyway.  
  
Then out of the corner of his eye, Ein caught a flicker of movement. It was so brief that Ein barely even saw it. But it was there nonetheless. Ein tensed, but did not growl. He wanted to be sure that he wasn't just seeing things. Nothing happened. Ein yawned and laid back down, deciding that whatever was there was not worth his time.  
  
That was when he saw it. Something amorphous and jelly like in the dim light. In a flash Ein was standing up, teeth bared, growling. There was no doubt about what was there. It was the thing that had bitten Faye in the first place. Ein could sense it.  
  
The thing paused for a moment, then rushed at Ein. Ein jumped to one side and snapped at it with his sharp teeth but the gooey substance slid between his teeth and back onto the floor. Ein pounced at it but missed. The blob quickly rushed off into the darkness from whence it came. Ein stopped growling and began to bark, hoping the others would hear him.  
  
"Ein? Is that you? What's going on?" Jet called from further down the hallway. Ein barked a few more times and the burly man rushed in. "What is it boy?" Jet asked. Ein responded by pointing his nose in the direction that the blob had gone and barking.  
  
"Was it that thing that bit Faye Ein?" Jet asked. Ein barked as a way of saying yes. Jet sighed. The time had finally come to hunt for the creature that had started it all in the first place. He walked off back towards the living room to tell the others.

Upstairs...

"So you're saying you saw it Jet?" Spike asked.  
  
"Yup. That thing that bit Faye was in the lower area of the ship Spike. Ein says he saw it there."  
  
"What thing that bit me?" Faye asked.  
  
"Not now Faye. This doesn't concern you." Jet said with a wave of his hand.  
  
"But daddy I want to know what you're talking about!" Faye whined.  
  
"Faye I want you to do something. Go to your room and don't come out until I tell you too."  
  
Faye pouted. "But what did I do? I haven't done anything!"  
  
"Faye we're going to look for something dangerous and I don't want you getting hurt. You'll be safer in your room. Now go."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Do as I say!!" Jet snarled. Not wanting to entice Jet's wrath any further, Faye stormed off to her room and locked the door. Jet turned back to Ed and Spike.  
  
"It's time for us to end this madness. I don't know how much longer I can put up with Faye as a kid Spike."  
  
"And how will catching a mutated lobster solve our problem?" Spike asked.  
  
"I figure that if that thing turned her into a kid, then it can cure it as well. But we have to hurry. You know as well as I do that that thing doesn't stay in one place for very long." Spike nodded in agreement.  
  
"Okay then. Let's get going." Spike said. He was more then ready for Faye to go back to normal. 

Later in the basement, Spike, Ed and Jet were busily looking for the creature which had caused Faye to revert back to a child. So far they had had no luck. Hopefully that would change.  
  
"See anything Jet?"  
  
"Nope. Nothing yet."  
  
"Well hopefully it will turn up sooner or-" and that was all Spike got out before a black blob leapt out of the darkness towards him. Spike yelped in surprise and jumped out of the way. Jet saw it coming too and dodged to the side. The blob stayed in it's current position for no more then a few seconds before it sped away again. Ed chased after using all her speed, but even she couldn't keep up with it. The blob stopped in front of a wall and waited. Ed grinned.  
  
"Ed has you now!" she screamed and pounced. At the last second, the blob moved away and Ed found herself crashing into the wall. The blob zoomed along the ground for a few minutes and then stopped yet again in between Spike and Jet.  
  
It all seemed to happen in slow motion. Both bounty hunters jumped at the same time, seeming to hang suspended in mid air. Then the blob moved again and they both came crashing into each other. Both of them screamed.  
  
"Watch it Jet!" Spike yelled, covering his face.  
  
"You watch it yourself!" Jet yelled back. As the two of them got up, the blob sped off again. Spike and Ed tore after it.  
  
They thought the stairs would stop it, but to no avail. The blob simply seeped between the cracks in the walls and went up that way. Spike and Ed dashes up the stairs after it, Jet following close behind. When they got to the top, the blob reformed itself and sped off again as quickly as before.  
  
"Damn it, how long will this take?" Spike thought to himself. With luck, it wouldn't take much longer. So he continued his chase after the creature along with his comrades.

Upstairs...

Faye didn't know how long she had been waiting in her room, nor did she care. She was bored and she wanted out. "How long do I have to wait in here?" she thought to herself. "I bet their off doing something fun and they just don't want me to be a part of it!" Faye decided that her time in her room was over. It was time to go. So she opened the door and stepped outside.  
  
It was then that the blob got her. Faye was only aware of something slimy wrapping around her arm, followed by a sharp pain. She uttered a cry and jerked back, causing the creature to let go of her and speed off to parts unknown. And ugly mark was already forming on her arm. The bebop crew rounded the corner.  
  
"Faye what happened?" Jet asked. Faye didn't respond. For some reason she felt very dizzy. With a groan, she collapsed to the ground. Jet saw the mark on her arm and almost screamed.  
  
"Oh no!! It bit her again!" Jet moaned.  
  
"So? What's wrong with that?" Spike asked.  
  
"I'll tell you what's wrong with this Spike! The last time it bit her she reverted back to a younger age! What if she reverts back even further?!!"  
  
Spike felt like banging his head against the wall. Jet was right. What if Faye reverted back even further? Spike dreaded the thought of taking care of an infant above all other things. Worse, what if Faye vanished completely? Heck he didn't mind that. It might even be-  
  
"Look Spike person! Faye Faye is getting bigger!" Ed remarked. Spike was snapped out of his stupor at Ed's comment. He looked down and saw the most amazing sight before him. Faye was indeed growing bigger! Her legs were getting longer and wider as was the rest of her body. She seemed to be unconscious.  
  
"Jet am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?" Spike asked. The black dog of the ISSP did not respond.  
  
There was a loud ripping sound as Faye's clothes tore in half. Still she continued to grow. Spike saw that there were still blisters on her butt from the bath incident. Still she continued growing. Within a few minutes, Faye was back to her normal size, height and weight.  
  
The shrew woman opened her eyes and surveyed her surroundings. The first thing she saw was her teammates standing over her. With a groan she got to her feet.  
  
"Hey guys. What's going on?" Faye asked. It was then she saw that she was naked. With a shriek, Faye covered herself as best as she could and shot the most menacing glare that she could at everybody.  
  
"What the heck happened to my clothes Spike?!! You'd better have a good excuse this time!" Faye yelled. Spike only smiled.  
  
"It's good to have you back to normal Faye." Spike remarked. Jet nodded in agreement.  
  
Faye looked puzzled. "What do you mean "back to normal"?" she asked. "Has something happened that I should know about?"  
  
"Well Faye, it's a long story." Jet said. It was time to explain what had happened. Jet got Faye some clothes and told her everything he could (leaving out the part about Spike spanking her of course). Faye was quite astounded to learn that she had become a little kid from a single bite from a mutant lobster. She was even more surprised to find out that a second bite could reverse the effects. By the end of it, Faye looked even more confused then before.  
  
"So you mean to tell me I was a little kid? Just unbelievable." Faye remarked.  
  
"I know. Stranger things have happened."  
  
"I'm just surprised that I don't remember it. I kind of figured I would have."  
  
"Well it's all behind us now. Why don't you go take a shower or something?" Faye walked off to do just that. Jet sat down in a chair and let out a sigh of relief. Now things could go back to normal. Everything was gonna be-  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Oh no.  
  
"WHY THE HECK ARE THERE BLISTERS ON MY ASS?!!!!!" Faye charged out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel. Her eyes were glaring, her teeth were bared in a bitter snarl, and she was pissed off.  
  
"What the heck happened to my ass Jet?!!" Faye snarled.  
  
"Um... well Faye..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"When you were a kid you kind of... how shall I put this... misbehaved and..."  
  
"And what?!"  
  
"Spike kind of got mad and... you know, disciplined you..."  
  
"SPIKE SPIEGAL!!!!! WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!!!" Faye roared to the entire ship and charged out the door.  
  
Jet sighed again. "Maybe things are too normal." he muttered. And that was when a male scream echoed through the hallway. Jet got up and walked out to see how badly Faye had-  
  
The sight before him was inconceivable.  
  
Spike Spiegal was clutching his arm. He seemed to be in pain. But that was not what worried Jet.  
  
What worried him was the grayish blue mark on Spike's arm.  
  
Ed smiled warmly. "Here we go again!!" Ed crowed. Jet spoke only one word.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
THE END  
  
And there you have it ladies and germs!! That's my story! Hope ya liked it! Thank you so much for all the reviews!! Buh bye!! -Randall Flagg2 


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